Olympic Oneshots
by TurtleJesus
Summary: A collection of funny little oneshots about anything to do with the Olympic gods or Titans. Enjoy. Chapter 1: Kronos, Baby or rock?


_**A.N: Hey guys, TurtleJesus here. This will be a collection, of what i find humorous, oneshots. This will only be updated when I get an idea or an urging to write. Hope you enjoy this one making fun of Kronos.**_

_**Chapter 1: Kronos, Baby or Rock?**_

It was a hot, silent day at Mount Othrys with the summer sun beating down the necks of everyone who lived there except a smug Hyperion; after all he does set himself fire without getting burnt. The deep silence was broken by a loud bellow from the throne room, "WHAT!"

Inside the throne room Iapetus was trying to placate his lord, Kronos, "My Lord, I was just saying that after we win the war we want to be guaranteed that we won't lose our thrones again the same way ".

"No you're not" growled Kronos, "You're trying to mock me with what was admittedly a mistake on my part"

"But Lord Kronos" Krios interjected himself, "we can't be sure that you won't make the same mistake again"

"Absolutely not" Boomed Kronos, "I know the difference between a baby and a rock, it is not _my _fault my son looked like a rock" Here he glared at Krios, "Unless you are suggesting that he got his looks from _me" _He added slyly to a quickly paling Lord of constellations.

"Of course he isn't" Said Coeus the only other titan in the room who had so far remained quiet, "Maybe you can just humour my dim-witted relatives".

Kronos gave Coeus a disbelieving glance before sighing heavily as he sagged in his throne, "Fine then, do what you must".

Iapetus clapped his hands and started rubbing his hands together gleefully, "Ok my Lord, we will hold out an object and you must tell us if it is a baby or a rock".

The titan of time could only nod and wave his hand as if to say come on then. Krios stepped forward and held out his hand where an object appeared silently. Everyone waited, staring at Kronos for his answer, none even looking at Krios' hand. After a minute or two of everyone just staring at Kronos' shocked expression Coeus spoke again, "Lord Kronos, it's okay if you don't know, maybe we started too difficult".

Kronos snapped out of it before talking, his voice steadily rising as he talked and by the end he was full out yelling, "That's not a baby or a rock, do you take me for a fool?"

All titans turned to Krios' hands hoping that it wasn't a baby or a rock because surely their lord couldn't be that stupid, right? They all sighed in relief when they noticed it was actually a hotdog in his hand and that their king wasn't as stupid as a rock.

"Huh, I forgot where I put that" stated Krios absentmindedly before devouring it in a flash of crumbs and spittle. Ignoring that disgusting moment Iapetus stepped forward to give it a try. He held out his hands with an object between them. Kronos glanced from Iapetus to the object several times before finally stating, "Iapetus, That's a Puppy"

"Excellent deduction my lord" he replied excitably, "You know the difference between a mortal baby and an animal baby, that can only be improvement". Coeus facepalmed in the back whilst loudly groaning and muttering about their stupidity levels. Ignorant, Iapetus continued, "See it's a female beagle and I'm trying to figure out a name for her, maybe Jack"

The Titan Lord could only stare dumbly for a second before saying "Firstly, Jack is a _male _name and secondly we were trying to work out if I could tell the difference between a baby and a rock, not a baby and a puppy"

"B…b.. I thought we could slowly work our way up to there" Iapetus stuttered, looking devastated that he couldn't name his female puppy Jack.

"Allow me Lord Kronos" Coeus slowly interrupted before Iapetus threw a temper tantrum, "I will make a baby or a rock appear and you will say which one it is"

He made an obvious rock appear that had jagged edges and nothing remotely baby like on it. Kronos instantly said in an all knowing tone, "Baby".

"Er, Not quite" Coeus replied after a moment of stunned disbelief,

"What do you mean not quite" Demanded Kronos,

"It's a rock sir",

"No it isn't" Kronos stubbornly denied.

"Let's try again" Coeus quickly said before Kronos got any angrier. Five hours later, 200 rocks and 100 babies later and Kronos still had not got a single one right yet. The humour of the situation had quickly gone to be replaced by disbelief that their leader was so dumb.

"It's a baby" Kronos insisted, Coeus went to say wrong again when he noticed that it actually was a baby in his hands. He suspiciously squinted at Kronos before asking, "Was that a guess or did you know that?"

Kronos squirmed uncomfortably in his throne, "Of course I knew that" he blustered trying to scare Coeus into agreeing. Coeus once more looked at Kronos before saying, "I give up, You win" and walked out the throne room.

**_The End_**

**_A.N: Hope you guys enjoyed that one. Sorry if I spelled anything wrong. _**

**_So what did you guys think? Like it? Hate it? Please review_**

**_also review any ideas you want me to write next._**

**_Check out my Breaking bad/ Bible Oeshot crossover. Only one of its kind._**


End file.
